Ways How To Be More Attractive To Your Husband

I need you to be honest with yourself for a moment! Have you ever wondered how to be more attractive to your husband. Especially if you’ve been married for a long time and it feels that love, and romance left out of the back door, when cellulite, kids, house tasks walked into the front door.

Ladies, I do not mean keeping your hair done, wearing a bit of make-up, and wearing cute little outfits. Those things are a given, but life happens and when we tend to feel less sexy and attractive to our husbands we panic.

Also, I often wonder why we even feel that way, because we should think back to when we first met our husband/partner. At that moment in time you were the most attractive person to him. Whether you met him in high school or through close friends, he saw you and thought you are his soul mate. I thinkg the real reason to our insecurities are “ourselves”.

We look at ourselves in the mirror and create a list of things that are wrong with us, instead of creating a list of things that are great. We become more anxious as time goes by and our relationships with our husband becomes a real problem because we do not understand what cause all this axiety.

Is it him or is it you?

How To Be More Attractive To Your Husband: Start with YOU!

What do you need?

Look at ourselves first. You will need to identify what it is you need. Why are you even asking: “How to be attractive to my husband” in the first place.

• Do you feel being pushed away?
• Were you in an ugly argument?
• Is he not interested in you sexually?
• Is he ignoring you?
• Is he not romantic like he used to be?

There are a lot of questions you can ask to get to the depth of why you are feeling you are not attractive enough for your husband. Now, I am not saying you are having a bad relationship, but to ask such a question to be “more attractive” means that something is bothering you.

So let’s take the anxiety a step further and look at a few reasons why a disconnect happen between men and women.

Possible Reasons for Disconnection

Menopause:

Maybe it is a hormone thing,Your body just do not feel the same anymore. You’ve probably picked up weight. You are moody, and think that your hubby is no longer interested in you because you have cellulite, wrinkles or even droopy breasts.

Work responsibilities:

Both you and your husband are working long hours, and are exhausted every night.

Physical breakdown:

Before you got married, you were probably attracted to something physically like his well-defined abs. Now in his 50’s you are staring to a tube around his waist and it includes yourself. Because of that, you feel he is not interested in you because of your perception of what is important to him.

Spiritual breakdown:

When you met you thought he was the best person on the planet. You did not see any of his faults, and maybe you did not even question his relationship with God, but now your beliefs and values are no longer aligned.

Emotional breakdown:

In the past he might have made you feel emotionally connected, because he would do things like open your door, or send you messages every day, and now he does not do that anymore. You might feel he does not love you anymore, and therefore, he is neglecting those things.

Intellectual breakdown:

As time goes by our ambitions, interests and hobbies change. Your husband might be a sport fanaticus and because you wanted to support him (especially in the beginning), you showed interest when his favorite game was on. Now that you are married, that has become the last thing on your mind.

Sexual breakdown:

You, and/or your husband are not sexually interested in one-another.

Before I jump in and tell you how to fix it all, let me use one word that stands out. Communication. Nothing is more important than letting him know what you think and feel. Men are problem solvers, well at least the majority of them. If you do not tell them how you feel, they will not know. But, in the same time, be careful how you communicate to them. Now, I am by all means not a pcycologyst, but I’ve been married for 30 years, so I can safely say, I’ve been there, done that.

Before I continue, I have to share this article that was found in a Home Economics book in the 50’s. It is amazing what kids were taught in school.

Ladies, I do not agree completely with this article, because we all have busy lives, and this was probably written in a time where women did not participate in working outside the home, or even at home.

Let me know in the comments what you are thinking. Love to know your thoughts on this.

How To Communicate With Your Husband

Number one – Communication is key!

Communicate in the right way. Use the word I, Not you, because if you use you, it will sound like an attack. Use feeling statements like:

• I feel this way…
• I need this…
• How can we solve this together…
• I just need you to listen…
• I need you…

These are positive words and encourage his brain to think about how he can help you.

Number two – Have patience!

Remember that Rome is not build in one day…yes, I agree if it was built by women, it will probably be done in the same day, but it was not. Some things need time to be solved, some might be an ongoing effort, and some might never be solved. For example: If you have never had a romantic partner from the start, then do not expect him to be romantic now. But, if you tell him you desire a more physical connection, and is prepared to work on this with him, then it become achievable, but it will take time.

Number three! Do not overwhelm your husband. They cannot multi-task on multiple things, and I can proof that. He actually need to make a conscious effort to listen to you. Just keep reading, you will soon understand why I say that.

Number four – Do not be a control freak!

Do not try to control your husband. You can ask him to do things for you, but you cannot force him. Have an open communication and tell him straight what you need, and make sure to keep eye contact.

Number five – Create a safe space!

Create a safe space where you two can connect again. Do not try and speak to him when the kids are running around you, or he feel stressed out. Make sure to choose the right time. Nothing is worst than having a meaningful conversation while the phone keeps ringing or his attention is elsehwere. He needs to be relaxed.

Number six – Flirt like your life depends on it!

Flirting is not just for single people. To flirt does something to the male brain. If you do not know how to flirt, just

What Men Find Attractive In Their Wife

According to research, most men rate kindness, supportiveness, intelligence, education, and ambition as very important with kindness at a staggering 85%. That means, it does not really matter if you are super intelligent, or have a high education, if you are kind to him and others around you, you will be a magnet of “wantingness”.

This is actually not new, because the Bible teaches us to be kind. It is actually one of the fruits of the spirit. With that being said. It is not always easy to show kindness, especially if he phones you and telling you at the last minute he is bringing his best friend over for dinner. Yes, I can hear you…you want to flip, and kindness is not in your vocabulary at that moment. And yes, you are right. There needs to be mutual respect for both your time and his, but life do happen and sometimes, he just do not think. It is not because he wants to spite you, but men really do think different to women.

I urge you to watch this video. It is a very funny seminar all about understanding how different men and women are from one another. Also, do not watch it alone! The most important thing is to watch this with your husband, so that he too can learn. It is really exciting to see his face during the video. You will not regret it. Remember, you have to find ways to laugh with your husband.

Now that you figured out why you are feeling the way you do, and how you can communicate with your husband your needs, it is time to take a deeper look at what other things you need or should do to make yourself more attractive to your husband.

What Does Your Sexual Relationship Look Like

We Are Wired Differently: Emotional vs Sexual Brains

This is probably the topic that needs to get the most attention.

• God created men to be sexual.
• Women to be emotional.

The connection we have to one-another is different. It does not mean women do not have a sexual drive, it just means that we are wired differently. Some women needs to be given attention with little messages throughout the day, or even small gestures that leads towards the bedroom. Other women like myself wants everything in my life aligned and planned out. Everything just need to be cleaned first. From the kitchen, to the bathroom, and obviously both hubby and I. If that is all aligned, I am at my peak. Now it is different for every woman out there.

Now, when it comes to men; Ladies, I can tell you now. Men could care less about any of that. He thinks about sex most of the time, and if there is even an inclination that you are willing, despite of what you think about yourself. He will be just too happy to oblige. This brings me to my next point.

Figure out what it is you want and tell him. He is not a psychic and do not know these things. You sex life can be amazing if you choose to communicate and tell him your little secret.💕

Marriage Was Made In Heaven

So, here is the good news: God designed marriage to thrive on love, intimacy, and a whole lot of grace. Physical attraction may have gotten his attention back when you were rocking that cute dress, but now it is all about communication.

Attraction in marriage is about building a genuine connection that stands the test of time. It’s not just abouthowyou look; it’s about how you make him feel and the quality time you spend together. Whether you’ve been married for five years or fifty, focusing on emotional connection, spiritual alignment, and a sense of humor can keep your relationship thriving. And remember, no one is perfect—except Jesus, of course.

So let’s continue into some biblical, practical, and downright fun ways to keep your husband looking at you like you’re the only woman in the world.

God created intimacy as a beautiful part of marriage, so don’t be shy about keeping your sexual relationship exciting. Plan a romantic evening, light some candles, and put on that outfit he loves. Keep an open mind and communicate your desires—it’s okay to laugh and be playful. After all, a happy marriage includes physical attraction and intimacy that grows over time.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Lastly, get out of your comfort zone. Start wearing beautiful under garments. It will not just look good for your husband, but it will give you the confidence you need. Which brings me to the next point.

Confidence

Confidence does not men you are arrogant, it means you know who you are in Christ. In Psalm 139:14 it says: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” If you are confident, it will change all other aspects of your life. If you are continually telling your husband you are fat, ugly, or picked up weight, you are not showing confidence.

When you try to hide your imperfections all the time by wearing over sized clothes, it is not confidence. You need to understand, especially if you had children that your body changes, and with time, you will have stretch marks, cellulite, laugh lines, wider hips, sagging boobs, but remember…you gave life to his kids and he has got the world of respect for you. Love who you are and wear it with confidence. Accentuate the best thing about yourself and you will see how your love life will change.

Self Care

Ladies, let’s talk about self-care. Before you roll your eyes and say, “Who has time for that?” hear me out. Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (although those are wonderful). It’s about honoring the temple God gave you. Taking care of your physical appearance isn’t vanity; it’s stewardship. Whether it’s finding time to keep your long hair healthy or investing in a skincare routine that makes you glow, self-care is about showing up for yourself so you can show up for your husband.

And let’s not forget mental and spiritual self-care. Spend time in prayer, journal your thoughts, and give your worries to God. When you’re spiritually refreshed, it shows. You’ll have more energy for spending time with your husband and tackling those daily tasks without feeling like you’re running on empty.

We all hear the phrase that it’s not about what’s on the outside, it’s about what’s on the inside, which is often true. But something else that’s actually true is that when we feel good about ourselves on the outside we tend to be happier and more confident. We tend to stand a little straighter. Wear those jeans that make you feel awesome and put on that red lipstick that makes you automatically smile more. Rock it- no matter what it may be.

Stay Physically Active

I know as we grow older we do find excuses not to exercise. Words like “I do not have much time” often fall of our lips. The problem with those words, it is only words and it is not the truth. We all have 24-hours a day, and yes, if you have kids, it does take some juggling, but you can become creative and include them in your exercise time.

Now, exercise isn’t just about fitting into your jeans (although that’s a nice bonus). It’s about feeling good and staying energized so you can keep up with life’s demands. Being physically active doesn’t mean you need to hit the gym six days a week—unless that’s your thing. A better way to stay active could be taking a walk around the block, dancing in your living room, or chasing your kids around the park. And I know, it is difficult, especially if you are a blogger like myself. You spend most of your days in the sitting position, but we can actually use exercise to our benefit. Grab hubby and go take an evening walk.

By the way, did you know staying active boosts not only your energy but also your sexual attraction. When you feel strong and healthy, it shows in your confidence and your interactions.

Maintain a Sense of Mystery and Individuality

Do you remember when you were dating and everything felt new and exciting? That sense of mystery is part of what makes attraction so powerful. While it’s tempting to share every little detail of your life, keeping some things private can reignite that spark. Maybe it’s surprising him with a new recipe you’ve perfected or planning a special occasion without telling him all the details.

At the same time, don’t lose your individuality. Have your own hobbies, goals, and dreams. When you’re passionate about something, whether it’s digital marketing, blogging, or a ministry project, (like myself) it shows. It’s also a reminder to your husband that he fell in love with a woman who has her own identity, aspirations, and dreams.

Laugh As Much as You Can

I personally love to see my husband smile, because there is this little tiny dimple making its appearance. He said it is not a dimple, but who cares. I find it attractive.

My point is, if you love to see him laughing, he will love it to see you laughing. Nothing beats a good laugh to lighten the mood. Whether it’s cracking up over a silly inside joke or making funny faces at each other during dinner, laughter strengthens your bond. If your husband is a more serious person, figure out what he enjoys and what does make him smile. It might be a comedy show, or a movie or time with friends, figure it out and plan something that he will enjoy.

It is the Small Things That Matter

I know this is a very difficult idea, because some men might and some might not. If I ask my husband now if he notice small things like new highlights in my hair or painted nails, he would probably say no, which is true. He does not notice that, but there are other things he notice, like wearing a new dress. It really depends from man to man.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Good communication is the cornerstone of any romantic relationship. But let’s face it: men aren’t mind readers. If something’s bothering you, say it. If you appreciate something he’s done, tell him. A simple text message during the day—like “Thanks for taking out the trash, you’re the best!”—can make a big difference. I even sometimes put little messages in his lunchbox, or tell him while he is driving how attractive he is. Men love compliments. Compliment him on things that really makes an impact on you.

Remember, communication isn’t just about talking; it’s also about listening. Ask him about his day, his dreams, and even his little quirks, like why he always puts ketchup on his eggs. These moments of sharing build trust and deepen your emotional connection, making your relationship stronger.

Show Affection and Appreciation

Sometimes the smallest acts of service make the biggest impact. Whether it’s packing his lunch, leaving a sticky note on the bathroom mirror, or planning a surprise date night, these gestures remind him he’s loved. Physical touch is equally important—hold his hand, hug him randomly, or sneak a kiss while he’s watching his favorite show. Initiate sex! Yes, you have to sometimes be the hunter, so you can show him you still find him attractive. Talk to him in a soft tone of voice, and tell him things he wants to hear. Even though men are sexual by nature, they also have an emotional need.

Be Kind to Yourself and Others

There is probably nothing more beautiful to see than kindness. People are in awe when they see someone doing something kind to another person. To share a quick personal story with you. In the past I was not always the most kind person on the planet. I tend to be very selfish and only seek my own happiness. Others was always last on my mind, where my husband was the total opposite.

People are important to him and I believe kindness is one of his gifts. He would give anything away, or offer his help to anyone that needs it…no matter what time of the day or night it is.

During those years, he always looked at me differently when I “showcase” my own selfish desires when people are seeking help. I always had an excuse not to help. Then the Holy Spirit changed me. How I have no idea, but He did and now I seek kindness all the time, and I can see, each time I do something beautiful for someone else, by husband face look price-less. I know he is super proud of me, as his attitude towards me have changed so much.

Be Supportive and Encouraging

Your husband may act like he has it all together, but sometimes he needs your support more than he lets on. Be his cheerleader when he’s chasing his dreams or facing challenges. Offer words of encouragement, acts of service, or simply spend time being present with him. When you show him you’re in his corner, it strengthens your emotional connection and reminds him why he chose you as his partner in this long-term journey.

Be Spiritually Aligned

This point is the most important part for an intimate relationship. A strong spiritual connection is the foundation of a happy marriage. Spend time:

• Praying together
• Reading Scripture
• Attending church as a couple.

When you grow closer to God, you naturally grow closer to each other. I can remember before we had a relationship with Jesus, before we actively seek Him, things were so much different. We did not experience the ultimate joy and freedom we now have as a couple. Also remember, having a relationship with Jesus, automatically strenghten your relationship with your husband because you will soon start to mimic Jesus. You want to obey Him, and you value the rules He has set for marriage. It is truly a beautiful thing if you give it a chance.

What makes a spiritually aligned couple unique is the freedom to be who you are. You do not need to hide anything anymore, and you can enjoy your husband, and he can enjoy you because God is first in your marriage.

Attraction Is a Lifelong Journey

Attraction in marriage isn’t a one-time deal; it’s a lifelong commitment. By focusing on emotional connection, quality time, and shared faith, you can keep the spark alive for years to come. Remember, the good news is that God’s love equips you to love your husband deeply and joyfully.

So go ahead—love fiercely, laugh often, and cherish the beautiful life you’re building together.